July 21

The Art Of Influence

Is it possible to influence people without being manipulative? When I really want something to happen and I want to enroll someone in it, I do some soul searching before I approach them about it so I don’t step into manipulation. When I am in manipulation mode, my experience is:

  • Weird
  • Calculated
  • Phony and inauthentic
  • Dishonest
  • Ulterior motive driven
  • Secretive and withholding

I am waiting for the moment I can make the big ask...the “what’s in it for ME”. I am sure the other person can feel my discomfort and is just being kind to give me a chance. They're probably wondering why I am even being so weird about it.
Underneath that “weirdness” is usually a worthiness conversation. But when I am confident and I know my worth I have no problem asking for whatever I want. And I am not crushed by a “No”. Because I understand the “No” isn’t about me. It doesn’t mean they are saying no to ME. So I don't take it personal!
Manipulation is an unconscious approach to getting what we want because we don’t believe we can get it by being authentic. Manipulation is used to avoid rather than to create so instead be authentic.
Here are some tips:

  • When you want to influence someone, don’t let that be your intent! Your intent is to be in service to them, and the end result of that authenticity is influence!
  • Don’t act out of past results, fear and unworthiness...or you’ll create hollow victories and more unworthiness.
  • Shift your consciousness and get present to who you are authentically.

Happy Warm Wishes Wednesday! Get out there and be authentic with your requests and when people choose to say “No”…don’t take it personal. Honor their “No” because saying “No” in that moment for them might just be one of their biggest breakthroughs in their own self worth.

Quote of the Week
"Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy."

Wayne Dyer